Jerks Rarely Win

Jerks are everywhere.  And at times it seems like they are always winning…proving points (good and bad), dodging consequences and putting bad energy out there.  It’s infuriating.  We encounter jerks in our daily personal business and in our greater society.  In my own experience, there are two types of jerks; the obnoxious and brash jerk and the subtly malicious jerk.  Both inflict emotional distress and trauma. 

If you are like me, you want these jerks to face some sort of justice.  It’s not revenge…it’s being held accountable.  And I’ve noticed that accountability can take a long time to appear.  I’m learning to be patient when it comes to jerks.  I’m playing the long game.  Make no mistake, it takes a lot of discipline to not get overwhelmed and lose hope. 

Here’s the thing I’ve come to realize about jerks; they always ruin themselves.  Call it Karma, the Universe handing out justice, the hand of God, whatever you want but at some point, it all comes crashing down.  The crash can be quick and spectacular or it can be slow and subtle. 

In a tight race for this nation’s leading jerk, Alex Jones of Infowars was back in the news in October.  A Houston Texas bankruptcy court ruled that Jones could not use his Chapter 11 status to avoid paying the $1.4 billon to Sandy Hook families.  The court determined that Jones was “willful and malicious” as he spread his bonkers, crazy-ass theories about the horrific school shooting.  He will work the rest of his life to pay these damages.  He ruined himself.

In my own neighborhood, there’s a malicious jerk.  This man has tormented neighbors for decades.  While his actions are at times juvenile, the malicious intention behind his acts is traumatizing.  He has spent several nights in jail, spent thousands of dollars in criminal defense legal fees and still he continues to be a jerk.  AND, he isn’t winning.  As frustrating as the criminal justice system can be for victims, step by tiny step he is being held accountable.  This story isn’t finished and may not be for years.

Is there a sense of satisfaction that comes with a jerk’s crash and burn?  Personally, yes there is.  However, I have come to realize that what I feel most is sadness about the number of people hurt (as in the case of Alex Jones) and time spent fighting the jerks.

I also think about the lessons taught in Helen Schucman’s  “A Course of Miracles”.   The lessons titled “A Relationship is the Classroom for the Holy Spirit” offer guidance for dealing with the jerks. 

Two statements in that lesson that resonate with me are;

*Anything that annoys you is teaching you patience.

*Anything that angers you is teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

Patience, forgiveness and compassion can be hard to find as we interact with jerks.  Many of us crave justice and punishment.  We want our pound of flesh.  Most of the time, that type of outcome doesn’t happen.  In my own work to reconcile my emotions around the neighborhood jerk, I’ve mentally re-framed how I think of jerks.  I now picture them as miserable, unhappy people whose daily life is void of love, connection and meaning.  And in doing that, I realize how wonderful my life is.  I’m grounded in love, good health, and community.  Jerks have none of that.  This mental exercise has brought me closer to patience and compassion.  I’m still working on forgiveness.